The 'Duck' and the Sankes

A newspaper printed this as a front page story. This brings two questions into play…
Is there so little happening that the newspaper has to write a story about a duck?
(Apparently)
And, why is a goose masquerading as a duck?
Here are some various theories on the so-called duck:
 It really is a duck, it just happens to be in a goose costume, and the reporter was somehow aware of this. For example, maybe that day was the waterfowl version of Halloween.
 Maybe it was a really small goose… maybe…
 It really is a duck, but it’s in disguise because it’s wanted by the duck police.
 Why did the ‘duck’ cross the frozen solid pond?
He saw the reporter and wanted to sell Aflac® insurance! *cheesy smile*


A candy store at the local mall decides to label their bulk candy bin….

Well…hehe… yeah… I don’t know about you… but GUMMI SANKES don’t really appeal to me.
Not to mention that we typed “sankes” into dictionary.com and got a “no dictionary results” and a “Did you mean snakes?”
“Oh no! We didn’t mean gummi sankes, a delectable species of anaconda, we meant real live snakes that shoot venom into you… resulting in death. Well, you know, maybe.
Actually, there is a kind of snake that shoots venom at your eyes.
That’s a pleasant feeling.
*snake shoots venom at friend #2*
Friend#1: are you okay?!?!
Friend#2: YEAH! My eyes are only burning, but I’m doing just fine!! No worries… but can I have some GUMMY SNAKES? :D
Friend#1: *confused emotion*
Friend#2: GUUMMMY ….. SNNAAAAKKKESS…..
Friend#1: OH!!!!! You mean gummi sankes! :)
Friend#2: *facepalm*